One more truth: if I didn’t have my husband to do the lion’s share of cooking, I’d be using deliveries too. I too have difficulty preparing veggies (half useful left hand), fatigue, and digestive issues. Don’t feel bad about doing something to help yourself survive. Ever.
"They are more disciplined and intentional than I am" gave me a massive realisation. Subconsciously I still believe that I lack discipline, when in reality it is energy and stamina that I lack. Not just with preparing food, but so many things that are impacted by disability.
I'm noticing that maybe you had to rise above shame to post this. Thank you.
Your prompts are great! I went through them about me lying on the couch right now while my daughter makes almost all the shabbat food. (Eek!) I knew I had feelings about it but just realized the shame now, doing your prompts.
In my experience shame is the emotion we most fear. We run from it.
I spent a few minutes seeing if I could give space to the sensations of shame in the body. It's significantly uncomfortable! After a few minutes I sense sadness underneath. I'll see if I can keep working with this.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I feel this so much. My partner travels 50% of the year. It can mean they are away for upto two weeks at a time. I left my job in October due to ME/CFS brain fog. I now have zero income and not being able to cook makes me feel like such a burden. So when I ordered delivery I feel that shame.
I tried pacing and doing food prep earlier in the day. It was still too much to handle. I have a perching stool now. While it is helpful it's not the solution. I am extremely grateful to have the support of my partner.
I have made friends with people in the ME community who live alone, and friends who have children. I understand that I'm very privileged to have the support I have.
However as a social worker I think a lot about our community as a whole. I wish there were better affordable options for all our chronic illness communities. Thank you for using your spoons to support our community 🙏 ❤️
ty for this! i order delivery almost everyday sometimes. and for awhile my compromise was getting hungry root but then the fresh veggies would rot in my fridge because i didn’t have the energy to make even the 5 minute meal. i still deserve to eat! i’d love to live in a world where there were other options because i don’t love ordering out for other reasons like the impact on the environment, how the gig economy is a piece of shit, etc. but….. right now… i still need food. i’m disabled and my tummy hurts and i gotta eat lol
Husband and daughter doing all the cooking, they wake me up for dinner. Slogged on trying to do some of it for years and would without any doubt be having deliveries otherwise! No shame in that, we all deserve somethings made easier!
One more truth: if I didn’t have my husband to do the lion’s share of cooking, I’d be using deliveries too. I too have difficulty preparing veggies (half useful left hand), fatigue, and digestive issues. Don’t feel bad about doing something to help yourself survive. Ever.
Thanks for this reminder :) and I’m glad you have someone to help with the cooking
Me too! If I didn’t have him, I’d be surviving on sandwiches, cereal, and all things microwaveable.
So would I!
100% agree.
Same in our home. My husband looks after everything 💖
"They are more disciplined and intentional than I am" gave me a massive realisation. Subconsciously I still believe that I lack discipline, when in reality it is energy and stamina that I lack. Not just with preparing food, but so many things that are impacted by disability.
Cheers to ordering food delivery!
Ahh!! A fruitful realization — hope it will help with your self talk
I'm noticing that maybe you had to rise above shame to post this. Thank you.
Your prompts are great! I went through them about me lying on the couch right now while my daughter makes almost all the shabbat food. (Eek!) I knew I had feelings about it but just realized the shame now, doing your prompts.
In my experience shame is the emotion we most fear. We run from it.
I spent a few minutes seeing if I could give space to the sensations of shame in the body. It's significantly uncomfortable! After a few minutes I sense sadness underneath. I'll see if I can keep working with this.
Thank you for the vulnerability and inspiration!
I’m so glad the prompts were helpful! And yes — I would agree that shame may be one of the most feared emotions. Shabbat shalom!
Thank you! An emotional one for sure. Shavua tov (a good week)
this this this! one of the reasons meal delivery cards are the most helpful gifts for cancer patients and their families during treatment
Thank you so much for sharing this. I feel this so much. My partner travels 50% of the year. It can mean they are away for upto two weeks at a time. I left my job in October due to ME/CFS brain fog. I now have zero income and not being able to cook makes me feel like such a burden. So when I ordered delivery I feel that shame.
I tried pacing and doing food prep earlier in the day. It was still too much to handle. I have a perching stool now. While it is helpful it's not the solution. I am extremely grateful to have the support of my partner.
I have made friends with people in the ME community who live alone, and friends who have children. I understand that I'm very privileged to have the support I have.
However as a social worker I think a lot about our community as a whole. I wish there were better affordable options for all our chronic illness communities. Thank you for using your spoons to support our community 🙏 ❤️
How timely…guess I’m ordering tonight! Ty!
ty for this! i order delivery almost everyday sometimes. and for awhile my compromise was getting hungry root but then the fresh veggies would rot in my fridge because i didn’t have the energy to make even the 5 minute meal. i still deserve to eat! i’d love to live in a world where there were other options because i don’t love ordering out for other reasons like the impact on the environment, how the gig economy is a piece of shit, etc. but….. right now… i still need food. i’m disabled and my tummy hurts and i gotta eat lol
I really appreciate this comment — made me feel less alone. Sending love 💗
Used these prompts for my dirty bathroom, thank you!!!
Boooo 🍅🍅🍅
Husband and daughter doing all the cooking, they wake me up for dinner. Slogged on trying to do some of it for years and would without any doubt be having deliveries otherwise! No shame in that, we all deserve somethings made easier!